Steps for Redeeming a Marriage Hurt by Pornography Use
Curtis Solomon offers husbands hope for facing their battles and restoring their relationships
Greensboro, NC—For some men, it may seem like pornography use is an issue between him and God and no one else. The reality is, however, that not only does his porn use support an industry that exploits and objectifies women, but every relationship in his life has been or is being affected, because pornography changes a person. But no relationship is impacted as much as his marriage. In Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt through Pornography (New Growth Press/April 25, 2022), Biblical counselor Curtis Solomon guides men through a process to help them understand the hurt pornography has caused and to lament the effects of their struggle on their marriage.
As a husband, what can you do when you are caught in the prison of pornography use? It might be tempting to give up and give in, but there is hope for your struggle and there is hope for your marriage. Readers might feel weak, helpless, and powerless to change, but Solomon points them to Jesus, who is powerful and is the true source of change. In Christ the great Redeemer, it is possible to find the courage and grace to fight this battle, and hearts and marriages can be redeemed, restored, and renewed.
“The primary motivation for writing this book is the desire to glorify Christ by helping others draw near to him and receive help in their struggle with pornography,” Solomon writes. “My own personal struggle with pornography is something that hurt my marriage. God has brought great hope, change, and healing from that hurt. I wanted to pass that along to others.”
Solomon will help his readers learn to believe in the forgiveness of sins and Jesus’s power to help turn away from sin and live for God’s glory instead of momentary pleasure. God’s grace and power is what is needed to overcome the shame and guilt brought by porn use. The author helps men see that true repentance and forgiveness will help couples move forward toward healing.
This book was written in coordination with Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography by Jenny Solomon, Curtis’s wife. These resources used in the context of mentoring, counseling, or accountability relationships give biblical direction and hope in the midst of a difficult struggle. The Solomons know the difficulties you are going through, but they also know and have experienced the power of the gospel to bring forgiveness, change, and healing.
“These books being written in tandem, designed to be used together in marriage counseling is the most distinguishing feature,” Solomon notes. “While we aren’t writing a memoir or detailed account of our story, we do bring our personal struggle into the books in open, honest, and real ways. The books are not really about us and our story but about Christ and his amazing work.”
Redeem Your Marriage includes a foreword by biblical counselor Edward T. Welch. “You should know a few things about Curtis. A skilled guide has been there before you. He knows the best routes and the places that are most dangerous. Having tripped up in some of those places, he is gentle with others who fall,” Welch writes. “This is what you will receive from him. He knows that this work might be the hardest you have ever done. At those times, he comes alongside you and speaks a word of encouragement. Then he will give you one small step that seems good and doable, and you keep going.”
Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt through Pornography
by Curtis Solomon
April 25, 2022 / Retail Price: $16.99
Print ISBN 978-1-64507-225-6
Religion/Christian Ministry/Love & Marriage
A Path to Reclaiming a Marriage Hurt by Pornography
Jenny Solomon encourages wives as they bring their grief and pain to God
A 2014 Barna Group Survey found that 64 percent of Christian men and 15 percent of Christian women view porn at least once a month. Sadly, the numbers are probably much higher than reported. More wives than you realize are facing the isolation and degradation that pornography brings into a marriage. In Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography (New Growth Press/April 25, 2022), Jenny Solomon comes alongside hurting wives and gently encourages them to bring their pain to God, who is able to reclaim their marriage.
When your husband struggles with pornography, your world is shattered. Where can you go with your grief, insecurities, fear, and even anger? There are many resources available to help men in their struggle, but very few available for wives. For many years, Solomon looked for books from a woman’s perspective as she dealt with how her husband’s porn use affected her own marriage. She would eventually gain the courage to write the kind of resource she never could find and helps each of her readers to rest in God’s love while taking one brave step at a time to care of her family and herself.
“When married men consume porn their wives become collateral damage. This results in difficulties such as grief, body image distortion, hopelessness, and vengeful thoughts,” Solomon shares. “This book encourages hurting wives to bring their pain to God, who can reclaim their souls, and at the same time take decisive actions toward reclaiming their marriages through effective accountability.”
In Reclaim Your Marriage, readers will learn how to draw close to the Lord as they address their own sorrows, questions, and temptations. The author encourages women to find a Christian community where they can seek a listening ear and find close friends who will come alongside them and pray for them in this battle.
“This book is for every Christian woman. Porn consumption is rampant in the church, so it is likely that every woman in the church is either married to someone who uses porn or is in relationship with a family who is dealing with this issue. This book gives those who need help and those who want to help an opportunity to dialogue about common issues that women who encounter porn in marriage will face,” Solomon explains. “The discussion questions at the end of each chapter equip women to come alongside their friends and dialogue with them through this difficult struggle, even if they haven’t personally experienced the deleterious effects of porn.”
Fighting pornography is not something a couple can handle alone. This book and the companion resource for husbands, Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Hurt with Pornography, written by Jenny’s husband, Curtis Solomon, can be used to bring hope and grace into a seemingly impossible situation. These resources can be used in the context of mentoring, counseling, or accountability relationships to give biblical direction and hope in the midst of a difficult struggle.
Reclaim Your Marriage includes a foreword by author and biblical counselor Elise Fitzpatrick. “Like Jenny Solomon, I understand the pain of a husband’s use of porn. Jenny’s story is mine as well. And we’re not alone,” Fitzpatrick writes. “Jenny’s willingness to write this book is one of the most courageous acts of love I’ve seen lately. I’m also thankful that Jenny loves the Lord the way she does and that his Word has been a rock and a lamp to her. Her testimony is beautiful.”
Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography
by Jenny Solomon
April 25, 2022 / Retail Price: $16.99
Print ISBN 978-1-64507-227-0
Religion/Christian Ministry/Love & Marriage
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Curtis Solomon currently serves as the Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition and cofounder of Solomon SoulCare. He holds a PhD in Biblical Counseling from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, where he also earned a Master of Divinity in Christian Ministries and a Master of Theology in Christian Philosophy. He is a certified biblical counselor and serves as adjunct professor at Boyce College, visiting professor at various institutions, guest lecturer, and conference speaker. Dr. Solomon is a veteran of the United States Air Force and serves on the advisory board of two ministries dedicated to helping our nation’s military community: The Mighty Oaks Foundation and Fallen Soldiers March. Dr. Solomon is the creator of the Transformation Bible Study Journal and author of Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt through Pornography. He and his wife, Jenny, have two delightful sons and live in Kentucky.
Jenny Solomon holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy and Religion from College of the Ozarks and also attended The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Solomon is the author of Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography, a freelance writer, and guest blogger. She is cofounder, with her husband, Curtis, of Solomon SoulCare based on their desire to apply biblical truth to life’s challenges, trials, and questions. They share God’s wisdom through conference/retreat speaking, training, and writing. Solomon has served as a ministry wife for over a decade and loves connecting God’s Word to the complexities of life. The Solomons and their two sons live in Kentucky.
Jenny Solomon can be found on Instagram (@jennysolomon2022).