Jim Newheiser shows readers how saying “no” to others can actually be pleasing to God
The inability to say “no” can result in overcommitment, leaving us exhausted and even bitter toward those who make demands on our time and energy. Similarly, compromising our beliefs to keep a relationship can draw us away from who God has made us to be and what he has called us to do. In both cases, we need to be able to set wise boundaries, prioritizing pleasing God rather than pleasing others or even ourselves.
If you struggle to say no to others’ demands on your time and their expectations for how you relate to them, counselor Jim Newheiser offers practical advice for setting appropriate boundaries in our relationships. In Do I Need Boundaries?: Seeking to Please God by Learning to Say No (New Growth Press/September 22, 2025), he uses real-life scenarios to teach how to manage difficult situations. He also highlights how our struggles to set boundaries are often due to having the wrong motives and offers a Christ-centered alternative to popular cultural solutions.
“For over forty years, I have had the privilege of counseling individuals and families through many relational challenges. While it is sometimes appropriate or even necessary to say no, I am concerned that the concept of setting boundaries is being misused,” Newheiser shares. “In contrast, Scripture offers infallible wisdom to help us to honor God as we navigate the challenges of setting appropriate limits in relationships and responding to the boundaries that others set around themselves.”
Drawing from his many years of experience,Newheiser helps readers learn to use biblical wisdom when setting boundaries within their relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Individual chapters dive into setting limits in a variety of situations such as job responsibilities, when a family member comes out as gay or transgender, overbearing in-laws, financial decisions, failure to launch, marital situations, and screen limitations. Not only does Newheiser offer biblical principles for setting restrictions but direction for wisely and intentionally enforcing them in a way that prioritizes pleasing God rather than pleasing others or even ourselves.
“The most important thing to remember is that the solution to these problems is not going from pleasing others (Galatians 1:10) to pleasing yourself (2 Timothy 3:2). Instead, our great aim should be to please God (2 Corinthians 5:9),” Newheiser writes. “The usual advice given about boundaries focuses on how we will benefit by requiring others to respect our limits. This approach to setting boundaries can lead people to replace their goal of pleasing others with a new goal of pleasing themselves. Scripture teaches that our most important relationship is with God and that we should embrace his control of every aspect of our lives, including our relationships, as our chief aim is not to protect and please ourselves but instead to please him.”
Do I Need Boundaries? is part of the Ask the Christian Counselor series. This series walks readers through their deepest and most profound questions, bringing gospel hope and healing to the problem they are facing. The books are compact, offering accessible and insightful help in a concise format that won’t overwhelm the reader, but going deeper than New Growth Press’s popular minibooks. Learn more about the books in the series at newgrowthpress.com/
Do I Need Boundaries?: Seeking to Please God by Learning to Say No
Ask the Christian Counselor Series
By Jim Newheiser
Print ISBN: 978-1-64507-559-2
September 22, 2025 / Retail Price: $13.99
RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Counseling & Recovery
Jim Newheiser, MA, DMin, is Director of the Christian Counseling program and Professor of Christian Counseling and Pastoral Theology at Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte, NC. He is the executive director of The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship (IBCD), a fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC), and a council member of the Biblical Counseling Coalition (BCC). Newheiser is the author of several books, including Do I Need Boundaries?, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage, and the minibooks How to Love Difficult Parents and Financial Crisis. Jim and his wife, Caroline, have three grown children. Learn more jimnewheiser.com and follow him on X (@j_newheiser).
For review copy and interview information, contact:
Audra Jennings – audra@newgrowthpress.com
